I Buried Him First

I used to care what the neighbors thought. Used to lose sleep over every knot. But that man’s gone, and it ain’t a curse — I didn’t lose him. I buried him first.

He wanted peace, he wanted grace, Wanted love in a hard-earned place. He tried to be good, tried to stay kind, Tried to keep everyone satisfied.

He carried weight he never made, Apologized for other men’s mistakes. He bled inside, but he still smiled, Called it strength for a long, long while.

You don’t survive by staying the same — Some parts of you don’t make it through the flame.

Before you try to bury me, Just know I buried him first. The boy who wanted to be understood, The man who feared the worst. I laid him down where the night stays still, Said a quiet prayer and walked uphill. So save your dirt, save your curse — I already buried him first.

He was soft in a world of knives, Gave his heart just to feel alive. But kindness in a den of wolves Is a slow goodbye nobody solves.

I watched him break in a thousand ways, Trying to earn what should’ve stayed. So when it came down to him or me, I chose the part that could still breathe.

It wasn’t hate, it wasn’t pride — Just a moment where I chose my side.

Before you try to bury me, Just know I buried him first. I put the past beneath my boots, And left it in the dirt. I didn’t shout, I didn’t curse, Just closed the door on who I was. So save your dirt, save your thirst — I already buried him first.

I didn’t kill him out of anger. I buried him out of mercy.

Some men drink, some men run, Some stay broken just to belong. Me — I did what had to be done, So something stronger could live on.

You don’t rise clean, you don’t rise kind, You rise after you leave parts behind. And not every loss is a curse — Some are just rehearsed.

Before you try to bury me, Just know I buried him first. I stood up taller from that grave, Even though it hurt. There’s only one of us left in these boots, And he don’t beg, and he don’t bruise. So save your dirt, save your verse — I already buried him first.

There’s only one of us left now. And he’s still standing.

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